TV Shows
3rd Rock From the Sun
Mary Albright (Jane Curtin):
To
say that you behaved childlishly is an insult to
children everywhere.
Babylon 5
John Sheridan (Bruce Boxleightner):
You just committed
a fatal error. There is nothing we can do for
you.
Female computer voice:
Negative on password.
Unable to comply.
Female computer voice:
Password confirmed.
Please stand by.
Batman (TOS)
Batman (Adam West):
Oh, Catwoman. Catwoman, will you never learn?
Blackadder (all series)
Edmund (Rowan Atkinson):
You're head is as empty
as a eunuch's underpants.
Edmund (Rowan Atkinson):
A chat with you and
somehow death loses its sting.
Edmund (Rowan Atkinson):
No, I'd rather French-kiss
a skunk.
Edmund (Rowan Atkinson):
This is a different thing,
it's spontaneous and it's called wit.
Edmund (Rowan Atkinson):
I've got a plan so
cunning you can put a tail on it and call it a weasle.
Edmund (Rowan Atkinson):
Sometimes I'm nice
and sometimes I'm nasty, hehee.
Edmund (Rowan Atkinson): Well, what a jolly fellow.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Looked like a fat git to
me.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson):
I have a cunning
plan, which might get you out of this problem.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson):
Good-bye, you lazy
bignosed rubberface bastard.
Hugh Laurie:
Oh bugger off, you
old fart!
Critic, The
Duke Phillips (Charles Napier):
Junk mail, junk mail,
junk mail.
Dennis Miller Show, The
Dennis Miller: Shut your bladdering pie hole, you fat f*ck!
Doctor Who
The Doctor #1 (William Hartnell):
What you are trying
to do is utterly impossible.
Everybody Loves Raymond
Debra (Patricia Heaton):
First
of all your an idiot, and second... Nah, that pretty
much covers it.
Debra (Patricia Heaton):
You
know what, I'm tired. Could you just call your self
an idiot.
Friends
Joey (Matt LeBlanc): Hey, how You doin'?
Happy Days
Fonzie (Henry Winkler):
Nobody understands
cool but me and James Dean.
Knight Rider
K.I.T.T. (William Daniels): All systems go, Michael.
K.I.T.T. (William Daniels): Michael, this is all very confusing.
Late Night with Conan O'Brian
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (Robert Smigel):
I gotta go, but you've been a terrific audience... for me to poop on!
Late Show, The
David Letterman: Thank you very much for joining us tonight, we'll see you tomorrow. Good night everybody! *Tadada tadada*
Lost in Space
Robot (Dick Tufeld?): I cannot accept that course of action.
MacGyver
Pete Thornton (Dana Elcar):
His name is MacGyver.
He can fix anything. He can fix a computer with
a hairpin and a piece of duck tape.
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Eric Idle:
We interrupt this program
to annoy you and make things generally irritating.
Graham Chapman:
Your
type really makes me puke! You vacuous toffee-nosed
malodorous pervert!
Red Dwarf
Kryten (Robert Llewellyn):
Sir,
you are sick. You are a sick, sick person!
Seinfeld
The Soup Nazi (Larry Thomas):
Go on, leave! Get out!
Next.
Star Trek (all series)
TNG = The Next Generation | TOS = The Old Series
TNG - Female computer voice:
That program is already
in use.
TNG - Lt. Worf (Michael Dorn):
Captain, incoming message.
TOS - Intro:
To boldly go where no
man has gone before!
TOS - Captain Kirk (William Shatner):
Stand by to receive
our transmission.
TOS - Norman:
I am not programmed
to respond in this area.
Voyager - Female computer voice:
Unable to complete
requested function. Please abort and retry.
Voyager - Female computer voice:
Transfer updata is
complete.
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
Ed McMahon (Himself):
From Hollywood, the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. This is Ed McMahon along witt
Doc Severinsen. And now, ladies and gentlemen, heeeeere's Johnny!
Ed McMahon (Himself):
Heeeeere's Johnny!
X Files, The
Special Agent Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson):
You
did something incredibly stupid.
